A friend of Selah's, Jenni Schaefer has agreed to do some guest blogs for us. She is recovered from an eating disorder and is a singer, song-writer, author and speaker. She is an advocate for those with EDs like anorexia or bulimia. We have used her books at Selah House as a part of some of our treatment groups, and they have been very helpful.

Who am I Without Ed?
Excerpt from Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life (McGraw-Hill, September 2009) by Jenni Schaefer

Who am I without Ed? We have been together for so long that I am afraid of what my life might look like without him. What if my life is actually worse without him? Sure, things are not exactly great with him. Okay, I admit that things are horribly miserable with Ed, but at least I'm thin. I would definitely rather be thin and miserable than fat and miserable. What if being recovered just means that I'm going to gain weight and be fat and miserable?
 I used to have all these thoughts. I know that many of you have too, because you have e-mailed them to me and sent me handwritten letters (yes, some people still do that). Still others have asked me these questions at presentations. At one time or another, most of us wonder if we can really make it on our own without Ed. We wonder if all this recovery mumbo jumbo is really just that--mumbo jumbo, meaningless talk. We wonder if all the pain and hard work are really worth it in the end. We wonder and we wonder, and then we wonder some more.
 What I have discovered is that we can wonder all we want as long as we are still taking steps along recovery road. We can walk and wonder at the same time. In fact, I wondered all these things all the way to that place I call recovered. For me, recovery was a big leap of faith. I held on to lots of hope. I hoped that recovered actually existed. I hoped it was a great place, but I wasn't so sure. I wondered and wondered, but I still kept walking, still had faith that life could be better. I wasn't sure until I got here. But now I'm here, fully recovered. Now I know the answers to those questions.
 Yes, recovery is worth all the hard work. No, I am not just fat and miserable. In fact, I am happier than ever before, and I love my body. No, I am not as thin as I used to be, but I don't want to be. My life without Ed is so much better than my life with him that I don't even know how to express it. In my original draft, I wrote that my life is a million times better, but it is actually much better than that.
 I finally know who I am without Ed, and I learn more and more about myself every day. I will never stop learning. Some of the things I have learned: I am funnier than I thought; I am more intuitive than I believed. I am more in love with life than I ever imagined possible. The list goes on and on.
 If you are still in that wondering ("Who am I without Ed?") phase, you might not be able to fully grasp what I'm saying here. I know I couldn't when I was in your shoes. Like me, you will have to take that leap of faith that recovery is going to be worth it for you. Even though I've been through it, I know I cannot completely convince you right now--no one was able to convince me. But you will get there and experience it for yourself if you keep walking. Then you will know. So keep on walking and wondering. Walk and wonder all the way to freedom.

Appointed to the Ambassador Council of the National Eating Disorders Association, Jenni Schaefer is a singer/songwriter, speaker, and the author of Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too (McGraw-Hill) and Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life (McGraw-Hill, September 2009). She is a consultant with the Center For Change in Orem, UT. For more information, visit www.jennischaefer.com.

People often don't understand how eating disorders impact the body and the importance of getting good treatment early. An article on the site Women's Health Online covers the specific issue of how anorexia as well as other eating disorders like bulimia damage the heart. Here is an excerpt: 

"The heart is a muscle. During starvation, it begins to get smaller and weaker like the other muscles in the body. Blood pressure may drop and blood flow is reduced increasing a chance for heart failure. Cholesterol increases. Not eating enough food means not enough minerals like potassium, calcium, and magnesium that allow the heart to maintain the electrical current necessary for a normal heartbeat."

Click here to go to the article.

Pregorexia refers to anorexia that is ocurring in a pregnant woman, which can cause many medical complications. It is difficult for many of us to understand how a woman who is pregnant can continue in her eating disorder, but it is not a simple matter of making a decision. This is a complicated disorder, and women who suffer with it need to get help with treatment professionals who are experienced with this issue.

There is a compelling article on a California news outlet website about a woman who went through pregorexia. The story gives a lot of insight into what this disorder is about and how it affects families.

Click here to link to the article.

There is an article on the Minnesota Public Radio website about a Minnesota woman who struggled with ED NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) for years and failed to get treatment until she collapsed. ED NOS is a classification in the diangnostic manual used by the psychiatric profession to identify a mental health diagnosis. ED NOS is a classification that identifies an eating disorder which does not completely fit every criteria for anorexia or bulimia. If a person is diagnosed with ED NOS, It does not mean they are not as sick as a person with anorexia or bulimia. It just means they don't meet all the specific criteria for those classifications.

There are perceptions in our society about what a person with an eating disorder looks like: very thin, never eats, preoccupied with looks, and so on. Ironically there are many people who are very ill who don't fit the stereotype. It is important to understand these disorders so people won't see themselves or their loved one as not being sick enough to get conseling when they need it unless they fit a certain description.

Here is an excerpt from the article: "It's one of the misconceptions I am trying to correct in my book -- that if someone isn't underweight or they aren't visibly sick, they don't have an eating disorder and they don't need help," said Johns. "You can have an eating disorder at any weight, you can be overweight, underweight, average weight. It doesn't matter. It's not all about the weight."

Click here to link to the article.

There is additional information on ED NOS on our website at http://www.selahhouse.net/ednos.html.